whine and cheese (and corn?)

It's time for a little fun.
I've been whining for some time now.
I'm gettin' tired o' that.
Today I had to give a presentation
about having a healthy heart
to some young adults
with developmental challenges.
OK, let's all say it together "developmental challenges"
It's the pc term.
Some people have problems with
pc ways of saying things.
I say, "being pc is a way of describing something
in a more creative way.
It is a way of offering to someone
some dignity regarding whatever challenge they may be facing.
Therefore we might, instead of calling someone
a bigot, call them
sensitivity challenged.
Yeah but who needs to be sensitive?
That's for women and wimps.
Right!?!
Until suddenly...
it is you or your loved one.
Well why wait?
go ahead and be sensitive now.
It won't hurt!
You won't start to have a period or something.
You might just turn into Barry White
and women will be drawn to your sexiness
like cats to catnip.
"But wait!" you say.
"What if the insensitive
I mean sensitity challenged person IS a woman?"
It's all a show.
Misplaced toughness...
sensitivity confusion...
one of those underwires poking...
boyfriend sucks...
girlfriend sucks...
I say strip em down and drop em off
at the mall.
after all the pointing, laughing
and angry epithets
they will remember how it feels to be vulnerable.
Anyway, the people at the presentation
were very lively and surprisingly
well informed.
It was a lot of fun. I was able to just
shoot from the hip
and draw a few things on the big giant sticky notes.
I love the giant sticky notes.
They're so absurdly big.
I want to write someones phone number and "call me" on one
then sneak into a friends house a leave it on the fridge.
After the presentation I got to have a late lunch.
Late lunch is kinda cool because all the other lunchers
aren't clogging the restaurants
and grocery aisles.
Also, everybody at the office is working and I'm
taking a nap in my car
(which is really a little Toyota truck).
I have this uncanny ability to take a nap
and decide before the nap when I want to wake up.
It almost never fails.
I have only overslept 2 times in 14 years.
I like a short nap.
How about you?
About 15 minutes is perfect.
I feel rested but not groggy.
I'm feeling kind of groggy right now.
So I'll see you tomorrow.
Love,
mykl

photo o' myself

So, I have been informed that there are no photos on my blog.
I have also been told that no photos of the boy or the girl are to be posted
so that none of you pervs can come over to our house and kidnap him/her.
That is why I have posted two photos.
One is me the other is Jung Eun and two kids.
Jung Eun is in Korea right now.
She called tonight. There are certain things I won't post on her blog.
HI, JUNG EUN!!! You look very lovely.
next topic...
If I spell some cuss words then Mrs. Mykl can't recommend my blog
to her mother and other people that MIGHT
be offended by such spelling.
I would like to apologize to those of you out there
that are offended by my spelling of such words as...
well of course I can't say what they are now can I?
So, here is my request.
If any words offend you,
please spell them out in the comments section
and I will be sure to put a little asterisk(*) in the middle of the word.
That way I won't spell out the whole word and
VOILA!!
there is no offense.
Of course you would have to spell the words out
in the comment section.
You would technically be offending yourself.
Damn you!
(Hey S. that doesn't count does it?)
So tell all your mothers ( I mean that in the literal way not the figurative way)
and your grandmothers
and your highly sensitive friends
to stop on by,
leave me a cuss word or two.
Then I will be able to know what not to say.
Won't that be special.
mykl

get satisfied

I'm not satisfied with my posting style.
I would like to post in a more
stream of consciousness style.
I usually have to post in the evening when I am tired
and it is often kind of late.
I'm tired
Did I say I'm tired?
Well, what am I supposed to do?
I can't post at work.
I can't post in the morning
when there is all the hubub of getting ready to go.
On the weekend I can post but here are all kinds
of distractions.
I mean not "every kind"
some kinds I wouldn't mind
but they would be illegal,
immoral, or
I'm not going to say "fattening"
but I am going to say
relationship deal breakers.
Oh come on, you know what I mean...
I don't have to spell it out do I?
Use your imagination.
You're a slut!
I mean not all the time but sometimes you are.
Come on.... admit it.
sometimes your hormones and your...
whatever you have...
start talkin' and your fingers start rockin'.
(except for those of you that just can't bring yourself to do it)
(you must have tried it at least once to know you don't like it)
Well, channel the slut in you and
you will be on the right track!
Anyway, I want to
be more spontaneous.
I usually start to rant about something
and start throwing in a few
"fuck this" and "fuck that"
which, for the record, if you don't like
you know that you can....
ok ok I won't say it
but you know I mean it anyway.

Yesterday was Valentines day and
I gave candy and cards to all.
They all had to do a treasure hunt to find their stuff.
There was much love and laughter.
then we sent everybody off
without giving them their respective medications.
OOPS!
Oh well!
Nobody croaked
so I guess they don't really need them after all...
not true!!!
There would be some significant H E double hockey sticks
to pay if that went on for more than one consecutive episode.
There is always the make up pill event
that everyone hopes will be sufficient.
How did you like that "hockey sticks" thing?
For those of you from other countries
"H E double hockey sticks" is the
won't get you in trouble at school version of
HELL

I'm glad I could provide
some education about Americanisms
in this post.
It is so important to make the effort
to have some redeaming social value
redeaming social fucking value.
As long as that is in there
I won't offend anyone.
This post is now sanctioned
by the redeaming social fucking values
moral majority.
Thank you!
Please Masturbate soon!
Please think of me when you do.
Have a nice day
(how do you get those cute little fucking smiley faces in here?)
[:-}
Michael

success!!!

Today the state people came to our house.
They performed their maneuvers.
We were able to convey to them
the nature of our concerns and
more of the complexity of our daughters disability.
This resulted in an assessment
by their computer
that our daughter needs more hours of care
than was previously established.
A computer! An algorithm!
What a load!
My daughters life needs are determined by a computer!
I guess I'm glad that
the computer has been programmed with enough complexity
to compute a need level that is consistent with
our understanding of her needs.
Now we are going to drop the
"Fair Hearing".
Or
"Unfair Hearing" as the case may be.
Malone was nearly giddy with delight
that she would not have to gather her
exhibits for the hearing on next Monday.
I suspect that she was just as put out
by the judge moving the hearing up a month
with only 10 days notice
as we were.
Stupid fucking system!
It's not a system at all!
It's a collection of agencies
and individuals interpreting the policies and laws
without regard for each other or
the family effected by their actions.
It's a jumbled sticky network of spider webs
meant to trap scammers
rather than to help families solve problems!
Next is the Social Security system.
The people meant to help us with that
are more trouble than help.
We are helping them learn the meaning of their jobs!
"Oh, we've never helped someone with a disability like this before!"
We'll chew them up and spit them out too!
There a few exceptions to this and they know who they are.
We tell them they are the exceptions!
They are aware they are the exceptions.
I had better go to sleep now.
Don't ever have a child with a disability!
It sucks and then
it's fucked and then
it tries to suck you dry of all life force
like some sort of bureaucratic incubus
that takes on a life of it's own
from the swirling misdirected energy
of all the various half formed creatures
behind desks in offices
of multitudinous agencies
showered with budgets
to pay people to figure out how fucked you are.
mykl

Ho Malone

Ok this post is on superbowl sunday.
I plan on covering a lot of territory.
First of all I am home alone own own own....
Did anybody else hear an echo?
I did...YEAH! ay ay ay....
There it is again.
The rest of em have gone to Spokane
to see 42nd Street in the Opera House.
It is now 10 am.
They aren't expected back until...
much later!
Oh, I have a bunch of stuff to do
but I can just do it and...well...
you know, they won't be interrupting me with,
"hey daddy..." and "hey honey..." and
I won't have to interrupt myself to say,
"Hey don't do that to the dog!" etc.
Wait a second...
I just didn't hear something.
Oh yeah that was what I was hoping to hear.
I can even hear my own thoughts.
Hey, watch this!
I just yelled, "What's wrong with you people?"
and didn't have any shit flipped back at me.
OK, that's enough of the "Home Alone" stuff
Here's the other thing.
(and this is why the title is "Ho Malone")
Mrs. mykl and I are dealing with the State of Washington
on behalf of my daughter.
A state worker (Malone) will be coming to our house on Tuesday
to fuck with us.
(again, not in the "down with your panties." kind of way
but more of the, "I got all the power and you're screwed!" kind of way)
This has been going on since the end of October.
It has been a parade of fucking ever since.
The most recent fucking was
the changing of our "fair hearing" date
from March 13 to Feb 13 with 10 days notice.
That cuts into our preparation time a bit don't you think?
This morning we were preparing our list of
"How we've been fucked."
We have to give it to Malone on Tuesday.
Then she can use it to fuck us over more on the 13th.
Did I mention I have a bunch of stuff to do today?
The least of which is not climbing on the roof to fix the plastic tarp,
that covers the leaky roof area,
that was blown around in the wind we had yesterday.
At least the dog has stopped barking.
There is also the chore list...
bathroom, vacuuming (we have shit loads of black dog hair now)
kitchen, mopping, garbage, sand bucket to fill,
porch to clean, laundry to put away, monkey to spank,
living room straightening, dusting.
(well, the monkey spanking isn't really a chore. But I do get kinda sleepy afterwards.)
Then there's the Superbowl.
I have beer to consume and
popcorn and peanuts.
I think I'll march around the living room
and shout, "POPCORN, PEANUTS!
GET YOUR POPCORN AND PEANUTS HERE!"
Then I'll throw myself about 20 bucks and throw myself back some popcorn and peanuts.
I haven't watched a game all year
until two weeks ago when it was the playoffs.
That was an exciting win!
I don't usually care who is playing or winning.
If I watch any part of a game I just enjoy
the skill of the players and the plays.
This time I am actually rooting for someone.
I gotta say, the Seahawks have disappointed
many a fan for many a year.
It's not quite like the Cubs going to the World Series
but it's awful damn close!
So, the non-football fan that I am
is going to watch the superbowl.
Not glued to the set or anything.
I can still get some things done.
But after a couple of beers...,
who the fuck cares.
So, it's 11 o'clock now
( I took a break to watch something on tv.
Sorry I didn't tell ya.)
(Did I mention I'm home alone? )
and I'm ready to get quit posting and
GET STARTED!!!
Go Seahawks!
See you all after the game.
mykl